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We walked hand in hand through the corridor; Key was blushing and giggling all the time. I opened the door, letting go of his hand to kick out my shoes.
“TEUK!” a voice shrieked through the apartment, of course such a high-pitched one belonged to Taemin. The young boy rushed around the corner almost jumping on me.
“Oh…Hi Key!” he smiled when he noticed I wasn’t alone anymore.
“Dude! I need your help! Chul is going to kill me when he comes back from his cleaning round,” Taemin spoke fast, like he had no time to waste.
“What happened then?”
“I broke the shower…”
“Idiot!” I hissed grabbing his collar and dragging him towards the bathroom but not before telling Key he could sit in the couch.
“Why is he here, hyung?”
“I asked him to be my boyfriend…” I whispered, blushing a bit.
“You did? You finally did?”
I nodded to his question and he let out a high-pitched sound. “But then why is he here?”
“He is going to spend the night here. He can’t get in now since the rest of the boys are out.”
A sneaky grin was on the boy’s face. I know what he was thinking of…first the incident of the porn-magazine and now this.
“Not for that! Now let me see the shower problem,” I mumbled and stepped inside the douche cell looking at the problem. The shower rose was hanging loose, a chance of breaking and falling on someone’s head was high. I started to tighten it again.
“Tae? Turn the water on,” I demanded him, waiting for any action but then I got wet. I screamed ‘off’ to him and stepped out. “Tighten it more, then it will work.”
I shook, threw my shirt away, getting an extra one that I always keep in the bathroom when I forget to take mine.
Pissed as I was, I went out of the bathroom back to the living room. I was relieved when he just sat there, talking to Shindong.
“Dong! Off!” I told the bulky guy, who just smiled to my boyfriend and walked off then. “Sorry, Jung. I didn’t mean to steal him! Goodnight!” he said teasingly, punching my shoulder when he walked past me to his room.
I plumped down on the couch next to my boyfriend. I think he still didn’t got the fact that we are together because when I sat down I moved closer but he backed away.
My body leaned closer to him; capturing his lips in a sweet kiss again. The front door opened and closed, 2 voices interrupted our moment alone. “JONGIE!” Taemin yelled, running through the living room to his boyfriend who came here with Heechul. “Guess who is here!”
I didn’t care at that moment, only wrapping my arms around the younger boy pulling him close to my body.
Jongin walked in, Taemin clinging onto him. “Key?” the youngest asked, not sure how he should act.
We stopped being all cuddly and touchy when Jongin said his name. He looked at us like he expected this to happen. “You know Key?” Taemin questioned him with a raised brow.
“His friends get old schoolbooks since they can’t study…”
“Oh…but now let’s go!” Taemin said, dragging the younger guy behind him towards his room. Those 2 are such a sweet couple together.
But after that first intruder, a second walked in with a big smile on his face. “Are you 2 finally together?” he asked, sounding like a 5 year old who just saw his parents making out. I put a smile on my face, nodding in his direction. “I knew it!” he sang, plumping down on the other couch.
“Chul…we’re going to sleep,” I announced, hoping he won’t start his cross-examine about us.
“Yeah, sleep…don’t make too much noise, Jungsu.”
“What has everybody here with thinking about sex? I mean you all know I am not like that.”
“You were 5 years ago. In the last 3 years you changed so…okay I was joking.”
He ran away quickly before he got me chasing him down the hall. I sighed, knowing that the things I wanted to forget were now coming back to me and immediately revealed to my new boyfriend.
“I explain this tomorrow, okay?” I asked because I know he would be asking this. “Okay,” he answered to me a bit shyly.
“Let’s go,” I whispered pulling him up from the couch, leading him to my bedroom. “You can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in and you can change here, I will be in the bathroom,” I explained, kissing him on his cheek when I was about to go to the bathroom.
There I just changed into a tank top and a short pants. I checked myself in the mirror again before brushing my teeth one last time. While skipping out of the bathroom, I couldn’t resist and listen for a second at the door of Taemin. No sounds? I was so hoping those 2 would be more intimate. The kids are old enough…in my calculation. Heechul forbids them until Taemin is from the school or in a group.
I chuckled a bit; I love them as a couple.
I walked back into the bedroom and saw Key was already dressed in one of my shirts and a pair of shorts. He was just lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I jumped on the back, landing next to him on my side.
My lips found his and I kissed him lightly, waking him up out of his trance.
When I pulled back I smirked a bit because I love how he wakes up from his trance, like a little kid.
I went underneath the blanket, wanting to wrap him in my arms but…I hesitated. He is my boyfriend but…
He turned around, blushing a bit before moving closer to me, cuddling up to me. His face was buried in my chest; his hands were also on the same place or lower, on my abdomen.
“I love you, Jungsu,” he whispered while I wrapped my arms around him and my head rested on top of his.
“I love you too, Keybum,” I whispered back, but then I felt some movement since he was looking up at me now.
“Yeah since we have a friend with the same name, so when I talk about you here, I mostly used that name,” I replied with an idiotic smile on my face, showing off my dimple.
“Thank you for that compliment, but you better sleep now, since Taemin will wake us up early.”
Gangdam District, Apgujeong-dong.
“Here you are,” I said when I saw the young boy walking toward me. I waited for him at the park with my arms wide open. He giggled like a schoolgirl when he walked into them.
“Where is that boy that would be with you?” Key asked me with a confused look on his face. “He join us soon. He wanted ice-cream and went for it,” I replied, while he was letting go of me.
“Jungsu!” a young voice yelled from behind me and there he was, Taemin with a big cone in his hand.
“Which taste?” I asked when he stopped next to me. “Strawberry,” he answered while his eyes landed on Key. I took the cone out of his hands and licked once. “Taemin, this is Kibum or like he wants to be called, Key.” I said to Taemin and gave him his ice-cream back.
“Key, this is Taemin, Jongin’s boyfriend.”
They both looked at each other, checking each other out.
“Hi Key!” Taemin said in end and a big innocent smile curls around his lips. “Like Jungie said here, I’m Taemin.”
I could face-palm myself when that little brat used that name for me. I whined like a kid afterwards, earning looks from the 2 boys. A stupid grin made it’s way on my face and I scratched the back of my neck.
“Let’s go,” I mumbled and took Key’s hand in mine. On his face was a small blush. I squeezed his hand a bit making him even redder.
We strolled through the dong with us 3. Just hanging out and having fun. I loved the smile on Key’s face when Taemin was joking around. We stopped at a small café.
“What do you want?” I asked the boys.
“Banana milk!” Taemin piped up, clapping his hands like a kid.
“Bubble tea,” Key said smiling at me. I winked at him and went to order the drinks at the counter.
“A banana milk, a bubble tea and a strawberry juice.”
I walked back to the table and the boys were chatting happily. I sat down next to Key.
“So what are we talking about?”
“I was just telling how I fell in love with Jonginnie,” Taemin said dreamingly, his eyes were focused between us and his head was resting on his hand.
“Well when he changed during P.E. I couldn’t watch another way then his abs.”
“But he is a year younger then you?” Key asked not understanding the story.
“I had to re-do a year,” Taemin sighed.
Right then our drinks arrived. Taemin smiled at me when he saw what I ordered.
“Are you guys going to pay now or…?”
“Now,” I replied, flashing one of my brightest smiles towards the girl who served us. Taemin got his money out and paid already his share. Key was willing to take out his money but I stopped him.
“I will pay,” I said and got out my credit card.
I paid our drinks and when the server was gone, I received a kick against the side of my leg.
“I was going to pay for myself,” Key muttered, looking out of the window where we sat.
“And I always pay when I ask someone out,” I retorted back with a smirk on face, taking a sip of my drink.
“Pff,” the boy huffed and looked still away. Taemin was watching us with a smile on his face, sipping slowly on his drink. “You two look like a married couple.”
“Do you like me?” I asked Key, showing my inner-dork towards him. Taemin spat out his drink and started laughing really hard. That kid knows my dorky part too well, since Heechul always makes me act like that.
I earned a bitchy look of the boy who is finally facing me after all those attempts to get him look at me.
“Next time I pay for myself,” he said, coming closer with his face like he was trying to kiss me but I just held my head like that, so he would make a move. Taemin was staring at us with wide eyes.
“Guys? We are at a public place,” the youngest said with his eyes still wide, while I pulled back, sitting back straight and taking a sip from my juice. I love to show my dorky personality around people, but I think I went a bit too far today with Key. I don’t think that was a good idea of me.
“Yeah, behave yourself, old man,” Key said with some arrogance in his voice. I just started to grin.
“I’m not old. I just love to be dorky, isn’t it true Taemin?”
“Wait until you see him around the dorm, Key. He is much worse then. He even hides a porn maga-“ there I had to cut of that little brat before he spoiled everything about me.
“Never mind. That kid is just imagining things like all of them do at that age,” I said quickly to Key but I gave a death glare at Taemin.
“Guys like you are all the same. Dorky, stupid & sex obsessed,” Key sighed, eyes kept on the window while he was drinking a bit.
‘You stupid idiot!’ I mouthed to the youngest.
“Sorry,” he muttered and looked down to his phone.
“I will leave you guys alone. Jongin is going to pick me up to see a movie. Bye Teuk, bye Key,” he said, drinking his banana milk and walked out of the café. I let out a relieved sigh.
“Can we go now?” Key asked, his mood definitely dropped after that what Taemin said.
“Key…listen. I’m not that worse. I care for you. You know that. I don’t want to have sex with you. That porn magazine… I had one when I was younger, it is probably still laying underneath it.”
“Do I have to believe you?”
“Yes! I’m speaking the truth. And if you don’t believe…come with me and check it out yourself!”
“Okay, I believe you.”
“Still mad about that ‘paying’ thing?”
“Let’s go, then. Up for a film? You can decide…but I will pay. Again,” I begged, giving him my most adorable puppy-eyes.
“I choose and I pay.”
“I never let someone pay on a date.”
“Is this a date then?”
“You can make it one.”
the nightclub, again.
One week. It will be one week since we talked to each other and opened up about us. I got to know how he got into this industry and lived with 3 other guys. After his 15th he never went to school and just taught a lot through his 3 other friends who got old schoolbooks of a guy named…yes Kim Jongin.
I opened up about my past too. How I studied at the university and how I got to know some of the most famous artists in America.
He let me touch him finally and slowly I could go into his personal bubble. Now we lay down on his bed, that wasn’t dirty this time. He was on his side with my arm resting on his waist.
“I’m glad I met you, Jungsu,” he mumbled, shifting a bit under my arm so he could face me even if it was only a bit.
I smiled at him. He is so cute at moment. Why did I ever think that he is distant? Yes, at the first meeting he is like that.
“You know you can count on me.”
“I know…” he whispered it and I could see a small tear at the corner of his eye.
“Hey…why are you crying now?” I asked, slightly shocked from the reaction I got from the younger boy. I gripped his waist a bit and made him turn over on his back. More tears streamed out of his eyes while he was hiding it behind his hands.
I soothed him again and held him tight in my arms. He was shaky violently and choking on his own sobs. Why does he always have to cry in my arms?
“I just got a flashback from m-my past as 14 y-year old kid.”
“You don’t have to tell me if it’s too hard to tell me.”
He nodded a bit and his tears slowly stopped. He let his hands drop, looking at me like he was a beaten puppy.
“Thank you,” he mumbled, looking away from me when a small red colour appeared on his face. I’m not sure if it’s from embarrassment or … probably just that first thing.
“Key…you look like you can use a trip outside these walls,” I said, sitting up with my back against the wall, looking down again at the boy with a smile.
“I can’t go out that easily! If my boss finds out…”
“Don’t you have a date that you can leave the club or your apartment without asking for permission?”
“Only…on Sunday and Monday I can go out and don’t get punished by our boss. He is cruel, Jungsu. I don’t want you to have a fight with him! And then you don’t know that puppy dog of him that is always lurking at the boys here. You don-“
I made him shut up with a finger on his mouth. During his rambling he sat up on and kneeled neck to me. His hands had a tight grip on my T-shirt.
“Calm down. We will go on Sunday. Just going to walk around in the district and have some fun. I will ask my best friend’s little brother so he can meet you,” I said and gently grabbed his wrists, making him loose his grasp.
“You are going to ask someone?”
“Don’t be scared. He is only 19 years old. His name is Taemin and he begs me already a week to introduce you.”
“You told about me?” he sounded quiet frighten to hear me telling him something like that. “Don’t they think I’m disgusting?”
“Taemin’s boyfriend is Jongin.”
“Jongin? That guy whom know-“ I nodded to the question already.
“Yes, the guy of the schoolbooks.”
“No, I’m not. And you will like that kid.”
He seemed to believe me finally. He fell back on the mattress and closed his eyes. I caressed his cheek and started to hum a random melody I had in my head.
I started to have some lyrics in my head and ended up singing it out loud.
“넌내게 완벽 상상해봤어, 함께라면 어떨까 yeah, 난 너만 괜찮다고 말해주면 모두 완벽해 oh baby*,” I started to sing but then I realised what I made in my head. Am I really starting to feel in love? I lost my mind.
I looked down again to Key who had a confused look on his face.
“Why are you singing such a text? Are you in love or something?”
Somewhere you could find in his face traces of sadness, like he wants that the lyrics were meant for him. Okay maybe I’ve to admit that it was actually to him. But really…us together? I think that will never happen. And it’s not from my side… I want to have someone again.
A small tear rolled down my face. Just thinking about love makes me feel bad again.
“Jungsu? Is there something?” this time it was his time to be the concerned one.
“It’s nothing special… I just… I was thinking about my last relationship and that I feel alone now.”
“I never had any relationship with love,” the younger boy mumbled and that was followed by a deep sigh.
I smiled a bit again. “Once it will come, just don’t search for it…let it come to you,” I spoke up, earning a nod of the boy.
“Those words you sang earlier…they were pretty good. You should write them down,” he said with a smile.
“Do you know you have a great voice when you sing? It was so calm and soft but was strong and impressing at the same time.”
I just sat there smiling and with a small blush on my cheeks.
“Thanks for the compliment,” I said finally after some silence.
“I wish I was so good,” he sighed when he was lying back down again on his side. I put my hand on his shoulder making him look at me, even if it was just a part of his gaze.
“Your time to shine will come. Believe me,” I told him.
“Was that song you hummed and sung… was it one that existed?”
“Until now,” I laughed, lightening the mood a bit so it will be less awkward between us. This conversation was going to the depressing side.
I glanced at the clock and saw it was almost 11pm. I jumped up from the bed.
“What is wrong?” he asked not following my sudden change of behaviour. I only pointed at the clock next to the bed.
“You have to go,” he mumbled with a small pouty look on his face.
“I will text you for Sunday,” I said, grabbing my coat and walk out of the room.
*Neon naege wanbyeok sangsanghaebwasseo Gamkkeramyeon eotteolkka
Nan neoman gwaenchantago malhaejumyeon modu wanbyeokhae oh baby
(You’re perfect to me, I imagined. How would it be if we were together?
If only you say okay, everything is perfect, oh baby)
At the nightclub
It’s been 2 days since I saw him and today I was actually more nervous then therefore. The reason? I hope he will open up a bit this time and he won’t run away or something. I’m so scared he wouldn’t talk to me but since he agreed that I could come back…my mind was full of scenarios.
I had my hand on the handle waiting to open it. I filled my lungs with fresh air and knocked with my other hand on the door, waiting for a reply of the boy.
“Come in,” was heard and opened the door.
I would expect him to be bitchy but to my surprise he was standing at the window. His body was shaking and a sob filled my ears. I closed the door quietly but I didn’t know what to do now.
“Key? What happened?” I asked and slowly approached him but still I stayed on a safe distance since you never can go too soon into the personal bubble of a person. I felt how my hands started to sweat since it’s so difficult for me. I know how to comfort but I am not the hero in it!
“Nothing,” he mumbled back and sighed really loud.
“I thought I said that I want to be your friend. I’m your pillar of strength. I’m not like those guys out there. My best friend even called me a gentleman for doing this.”
I think I got his attention when I mentioned Heechul, in a very subtle way.
He turned around and tears were still rolling down his cheeks. I want to step forward and wipe them away but… I have to hold myself together.
“You are…I mean never before someone just talked to me,” he said shyly and slightly turned red.
“If there are problems you always can call me. Do you want to tell what happened?” I asked again, this time sounding less impatient.
I stepped a bit back and gave him sometime to gather his courage.
He sighed, turning around again. It was like he was fighting against his own body not to tear up again.
“I just had a customer and…he reminded me of my f-fa…fat…”
He choked on the last word. I bet he meant his father.
“Your father?” I asked quietly, so it won’t sound I’m finishing his sentence but just guessing the word.
He nodded and slowly turned back around, tears streaming out of his eyes like rivers. Now I totally don’t know what I should do. I swallowed the lump in my throat and opened my eyes to say something but then he already clung on me. His face was buried in the crook of my neck and the tears were making my shirt wet. I thought he was so cold and distant but now he is crying.
I slowly wrapped my arms around his small waist and hugged him a bit. I was still shocked about this. 2 days ago he seemed to hate me but now he was crying in my arms.
I would never expect his.
Yes, I said I wanted to be his friend.
No, I didn’t mean that it would this soon.
“Shh…you can cry,” I said and tried my best to soothe the boy.
He hiccupped during the time he was crying and his nails were digging through my shirt, into my skin.
But not only this situation made it difficult for me to act normal. I could smell him and it was intoxicating. His personal smell was like a drug to my body and me.
After most of the tears were out of his eyes, he looked up at me. His deep brown orbs were so full of fear and shame at the same time. I think I better shut my mouth about his dad until we know more.
“S-Sorry,” he whispered, letting go of me and plumped down on the small couch in the corner of the room. I thought quickly and grabbed the normal chair near the door. I dragged with me and sat across him.
“Let’s talk about something else.”
“What?” he piped up rubbing his eyes.
“How old are you?” I asked him just like we are meeting each other in a normal way.
“29,” I answered with a small smile.
“What is your job? You mentioned at our first meeting here.”
“I work for one of the biggest music companies in the country,” I said and waited for a reaction.
And yes, I got one. His eyes widen when I mentioned ‘music companies’. He gasped there like a fish that couldn’t get oxygen.
“You’re joking, aren’t you? Your probably just a worker in a small store,” he huffed, acting like he didn’t react in that way. I only put a small smirk on my face and watched if he would go further.
“Tss, you working for a music company. Which one?”
“SM Entertainment,” I smirked wider and got my member pass out of my pocket.
I gave it to him; his mouth fell open when he saw the small card with my name, picture and job on it.
“You were not joking,” he whispered and gave me my card back.
“Tell me more about you,” I said smiling, while sliding the pass back into my wallet.
“I’m not the most interesting person in the world. What would you want to know then?” he asked, glancing at me a bit but his eyes were staring down.
“You have an accent that isn’t from here,” I noticed it when he was acting arrogant again but he couldn’t hide the excitement in his voice then. He looked up at me like I found something important out.
“I’m normally from Daegu. I ran away from my house there when I was a 15 year old kid.”
Instead of bothering him with the question ‘why’ and the previous cry burst about his dad, made me want to talk about myself.
“My parents moved here when I was only a young boy so I learned the life in a city pretty quick,” I mumbled, smiling at him. “You’re more interesting then me…” he sighed and looked away again. “Not true. I’m older that’s why. I’ve been in America in a small apartment. I had a boyfriend there but he dumped me for another. I was sick for days and became extremely depressed. I wanted to jump of a building but something stopped me.”
The only 2 persons in the whole world that know this story are Heechul and his little brother. Normally I’m not the type to talk about this to random people but…I thought that my story could give him some courage to fight in his life.
“What made you stop?”
“That there will be somebody who will love me one day like I loved my ex-boyfriend.”
He sat there listening to me.
“But I’ve to go now. My roommates kill me when I come back late. If there is something… call me,” I said and gave him a small paper with my number on it.
“I promise I will come back tomorrow.”
Fuck. My. Life.
I was back from the club and went straight to bed, but I can’t fall asleep. My body is tired and exhausted but my mind doesn’t want to sleep.
I climbed out of my bed and strolled toward the television. I switched it on and plumped down on the couch.
While I was switching through the channels somebody woke up.
“Jungsu?” Shindong asked and looked shocked when he found me sitting there.
“Why are up so late?”
“I can’t sleep,” I mumbled and felt how the couch moved when my friend sat next to me.
“What is bothering you?” he asked straight to the point. I sighed and looked in front of me, where a rerun of some stupid drama was playing. I never follow those since they’re always too dramatic.
“That boy,” I answered finally and glanced back at Shindong, who was smiling really wide. “What are you having?”
“Is someone in love?” he said still with that smile and held his head somewhat to the right side.
“Listen here, Dongie, I’m not like Heechul who falls in love with everybody he sees.”
“He likes Siwon.”
“I know but … I just feel somehow connected to that boy. Today I talked to him but he was so cold and distant towards me. I tried to be gentle and in the end he let me talk. I see him tomorrow but … I don’t know how to start a conversation now and –“
“And you are babbling like woman,” Shindong cut in. He was right in time since I would keep continuing.
I sighed and bend my head down.
“Hyung, I know you never believed in love on the first sight but maybe you should think of it now –“
“Don’t talk! I think this is purely love on the first sight,” Shindong ended and looked at me very stern, I could feel his stare burning holes in my head.
“Shindong, it’s not love on the first sight. I feel like I’ve to protect that boy from people.”
“Jungsu, he lives as a prostitute! You can’t save him!”
Those words made me think again. There is always a chance. I looked up again and stood up, looking down at my dongsaeng.
“I believe there is a chance. Goodnight,” I mumbled and made my way back to my bedroom. I shut the door and slid down until my butt hit the ground.
For the rest of the night I sat there. Eyes wide open, thoughts filled my mind all the time. Before I knew it was 7am.
“Taeminnie! You have to go to school!” That sentence made my senses alert again. I woke up from a sort of trance. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. My head is too full of that boy.
I crawled to the bed and lay down, thinking about my thoughts again. Of course Heechul will burst into the room again and scream ‘Good morning’ in his “Engrish”.
And like I predicted…
“Good morning!” Heechul yelled and swung the door open. He skipped over to my bed. But he saw I had bags underneath my eyes.
“Someone didn’t sleep well? How was it with that boy?” he started questioning immediately but luckily there is a kid in this house.
“Chul! I need you to bring me to school!” Taemin yelled from probably the television.
“Yeah, yeah! I come, Minnie!” he yelled back but then his eyes went back to me. “You better stay here, mate! Sleep a bit.”
“That’s the problem… I didn’t sleep at all.”
“I just can’t sleep my mind won’t leave the thoughts in my head.”
He looked at me for a second and then at the door of the room. He stood up and I sighed relieved until he yelled at Shindong that he has to bring Taemin to school or he has to eat salad the whole week.
He closed the door and walked back over to me and sat down on my bed.
“Tell me… what is wrong?” he asked me and put a hand on my stomach. It’s in a friendly way. We are always this close, sometimes so close people mistook us as a couple.
Do I really have to tell it again? I turned on my side, facing away from him. I bet he rolled his eyes at my behaviour. He lay himself down next to me; his arm was wrapped around my body.
“Tell Me,” he begged again.
“That boy keeps popping up in my mind. I couldn’t sleep all night because of all the thoughts around him in my head. I sat in the living room and Shindong talked to me. He said that it is love on the first sight! But I am not like that! You know that! And that I can’t save him! He is so young, Chula! He has a whole life but he is throwing it away there…”
Difference between Shindong and Heechul? Heechul is a listener while Shindong is more of a thinker.
“You are such a gentleman Jungsu,” were the words of Heechul. He uses them a lot to help me through hard periods in the love.
“You always tell me that.”
“Because it’s true. It may be or not love at the first sight but that boy will like you since you care for him.”
I smiled a bit. He always manages to bring a smile on my face. When I’m sad or just when he acts like a diva.
“Thanks for being my friend, Cinderella. But I can’t sleep…”
“I will talk you to sleep, like when we were teenagers. What is his name?”
“Kibum but he prefers Key.”
“Why does that name sound familiar…?”
“Not that popular guy from our school.”
I turned on my back and like that we lay there for some hours. Only us, who are talking to each other and nobody who disturbs, I had work to do yes, but it can wait. I need some time with Heechul. 2 years is long without friends.
I think I fell finally fall asleep but I woke up again around an hour of 4pm. Heechul was gone but instead Taemin sat there.
“Jongin told me you spoke to that friend of his friends. You will make it,” he mumbled and hugged me. “Thank you, Minnie.”
In front of the nightclub.
Here I am. Standing in front of the nightclub, almost the same place they found me unconscious. Heechul begged me not come here anymore. To rephrase his words: “I don’t want you to get beaten up again!”
I sighed deeply, scanning the place outside. This time I have a car to hide when somebody attacks me.
Full of self-confidence I walk inside the club. The blasting music greets me, just as a pair of eyes I know too well now.
Siwon smiled slightly when I walked his way.
“You came,” he mumbled, even though the music was loud, I could understand him.
“Did you see that one boy?” I yelled over the music so he could understand me.
“He is in the back with a client…you could try.”
“Get me there!”
He just pointed at a door. I winked at him and slowly made my way through the crowd of men. Why would they pay for them? Most of them are just students! Now people will question ‘Why are you there?’ I’m on a mission… mission is a big word but I want to know that boy.
When I was tiptoeing through the hall, I heard loud moans coming from a room at the back. I slowly made my way over and swallowed the lump in my throat when I peeped through the small crack.
It was him…
But some old dirty guy was fucking him, so the moans weren’t his.
I stood there, some minutes passed but for me it felt like centuries went by. That guy moaned loud and from then on it went quickly. There was some ruffling inside the room and the door swung open seconds after that.
My bad I stood behind that door. I felt blood trickle out of my nose, when I stuck my tongue out I could taste the metallic flavour of my own liquid.
I got from behind that door and saw the scene in front of me. The boy lay there on his side, naked. The sheets were messy and full of cum.
I took a deep breath and walked inside the room, the smell of sex was still lingering in there.
“Are you okay?” I asked in a soft-voice. I want to be gentle, so I can talk to him better. He turned his head to look up at me.
“Why are you here? What are you doing here in the first place?” he asked, arrogance was in his voice. I ignored his questions at first and just walked inside the room, closing the door behind me.
“I-I w-wanted to t-talk to you,” I stuttered ashamed because he was still naked in front of me. I turned myself around. “Could you please wear something?” I asked, almost a whisper.
I got no answer from him; only some sounds made me think that he was actually dressing himself. “You can turn around,” he snorted at me. Slowly I turned and saw he was at least wearing a pants and some kind of tank top on it.
“You didn’t answer my questions before,” he spoke up after an awkward silence.
“I’m here for you and I thought you would be here so,” I muttered, scratching the back of my neck.
He didn’t look at me, which made me feel not wanted here. I sighed and took place on the chair that was standing there.
“Why do you keep looking for me?”
“Be…because I-I … I don’t know,” I replied, looking down at my lap, sighing deeply because of this question. I hate the way he talks like that. Can’t he see I am trying to be gentle with him?
“What’s your name?”
Wasn’t that supposed to be my question? I am the one who is here to know more about him, while he is so…distant.
“J-Jungsu,” I answered, looking a bit up, only to see him sitting across the room in a comfortable armchair. “Do you also have a surname, Jungsu?”
“My name is Park Jungsu and I’m not interested in fucking you so stop acting distant,” was my retort. It was straightforward and right to the point of this very weird question.
He was startled of my outburst; he stood up and walked over to the window. Out of his pocket he got a cigarette. “What’s yours?” I asked then, back in my gentle tone from before.
“That’s it? Just Key?”
“My real name is Kibum, but here in the club they all call me Key.”
It was silent between us again. Maybe I should speak up and tell him why I am here. But the thing is…will he listen to me? The way he acts now towards me is very cold and it makes me doubt if I’m doing the right thing.
“Listen,” I started in a whisper and he turned around looking at me with a raised eyebrow, “ever since we bumped against each other on the street, I felt a strange connection between us. I don’t want to be like those other people. I want to listen to you and your problems. I know it’s very odd but…”
I couldn’t finish my own sentence because I was too shocked to see what he did. Key finally listened to me and faced me.
But when I stopped he looked away again, blowing the smoke out.
“With other words… you want to be my friend?” he said, the cigarette against his lips.
“Yeah…kind of. When I gave you your mp3 back, your eyes lit up. You need someone to talk to…am I right?” I received a nod on that last question.
“I’ve to go now because I need to work. I can come back if you want…” I spoke up again, watching how his face turned from a small smile to a frown.
“Tomorrow…I am not here.”
“Day after tomorrow then?” I asked and looked at the boy.
“Okay,” he sighed and looked up then. His eyes were the first things I paid attention to. They were beautiful but watery at the same time.
“Don’t do anything reckless. You don’t have to open up yourself immediately, okay?”
And with that a small tear rolled down his cheeks. I wanted to wipe it away but… I would be selfish to burst his personal bubble now. I better wait until he wants me to.
“See you then, Key.”
I walked out of the room. Finally I had a chance to talk to that boy but I think I made a mistake somewhere. He was so distant but then he started crying because of something I have said.
Somewhere I feel stupid for that. I never want to rush things in my life but now I seemed like I did it to another person.
Yes, I feel bad that he started to tear up.
I walked out of the club, greeting Siwon when I passed the bar, climbing in my car and just sat there, thinking of what happened inside.
SM Entertainment building.
“Again Jessica,” I mumbled through the microphone. It was the 3rd recording but we couldn’t get the sound right.
Last past days, I was sore. I couldn’t even walk to the fridge without my muscles are in pain. I didn’t go to the club; no I stayed inside the apartment for so many days. Maybe I should go for once back to club. Looking for that boy.
The recordings are going fine. Today were only 2 girls here for a recording and then I could go home. But who says it will be an easy day.
The girl now, whose name is Jessica, is doing her part again and this time we got it right.
Right then somebody walked in. It was Siwon. “Jungsu, you’re back,” he mumbled and looked quiet shocked when he found out I was there.
“I couldn’t stay at home. How are you?”
“Fine like always. What happened outside the club? You were fighting…”
“That guy wanted to fight it out with me so I took that challenge. I ended up at the hospital,” I mumbled and my hands turned into fists when I had to think of that man.
“Like you said…you are different from all those guys that normally come there,” I glanced at him again. He sat down on the empty chair next to me. “How do you mean?”
“I never saw somebody stand up from one of our “dancers”.” He put dancers between quotation marks with his hands. “Dancers?” I asked him. I didn’t believe what he was telling me. Those boys aren’t just some random guys dancing there for fun.
Siwon sighed and looked then at me. “The boy you tried to save is a prostitute who dances there. The club and the place he normally works are both from the same owner.”
My eyes widen when I heard that. Was I that delusional? I can’t even remember what he told me that evening.
“Do you know his name?” Maybe he knows and then I don’t need to ask it the boy himself.
“Sorry, mate, but I don’t know the names of the boys that dance there.”
“Guys… I am also here!” Jessica said annoyed that I wasn’t paying any attention to her recording. Instead I was to absorb with listening to Siwon.
“I think I’ve to go,” he said and was trying to stand up.
“Stay,” I mumbled, grabbing his wrist so I would make sure he would listen to me before walking out of the room. “I still have a staple of work to do so.”
He strolled towards the door but I needed to ask this before he left. “Are you there tonight?”
“I’m always there on Tuesday. Are you going or what?”
Later that day -it was afternoon- the recordings were finished. When I was shutting down the system, a cheerful voice interrupted my process. “Hyung!” Of course it was my Taeminnie. Not in a boyfriend manner. Since he was young I called him Taeminnie.
“Minnie!” I laughed back, but when I turned around his boyfriend, who stood behind him, had a dark expression on his face. I composed myself again and let my smile fade from my face.
“Jongie! Stop making such faces! He is my friend after all!” Taemin pouted and smacked the back of his hand in the stomach of his boyfriend.
“Sorry. I can’t help to feel jealous when somebody calls you that.”
“Jongin, I won’t steal him, okay? Because Heechul will kill me then.”
A small smile crept onto the face of the younger boy. Taemin gave him a small peck on his lips before skipping over to me. “How was your day, hyung?” he is always so happy when he sees me. “It was good, yours?”
The happiness from before disappeared again and a grumpy expression took over his face & also his body. “Boring and I have detention next week.”
“Heechul will kill you, you know that,” I mumbled to him and he looked at me like he just saw a ghost. “Let me remember you this. 3 years ago when I was still at the university, you sneaked out of your class to see a movie. But they caught you. My dear Taeminnie had detention the whole week.”
I heard how Jongin started laughing really loud. Taemin looked at me with a bitchy face.
“How can’t I remember that?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled and stood up. “Are you going home now?” I nodded to his question. “Can we have a ride?”
I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Do you really need to ask that?”
We walked out of the room and laughed all the way to the car. Once inside, Taemin started again with some serious questions.
“It’s a week since your fight. Are you going back?” he asked while buckling his seatbelt. I sighed deep while starting the engine, so he wouldn’t notice how hard that sigh was.
“But you don’t know the boy…”
“No…because I hadn’t had the time to ask his name or more information. That guy attacked me when I was trying to talk to him.”
“So you have a reason to go back. Why don’t you go then?”
“Who is here the hyung?”
I looked at him with a smile. “Sorry,” he muttered, looking outside the window.
“Tae, he didn’t mean it a bad way. He was just joking.”
“Thank you Jongin,” I thanked the youngest of the boy of us, sending him a smile through the mirror. He looked back at me, also with a smile on his face. The jealousy from earlier is totally gone, replaced with a better atmosphere between us.
“You like that boy, huh?” Taemin started questioning again. I just rolled my eyes at his question.
“How can I say I like someone when I don’t even know his name? You know when I say: ‘I like somebody’,” I replied to him with frown on my face. I though that little kid would know me better.
“Okay, maybe not with feelings. Let me say it like this: You feel attached to the boy without even knowing a single thing of him.”
“Maybe,” I answered and took a sharp turn when we drove up the parking lot.
“Is Heechul home, Taemin?” Jongin asked quietly from the back seat. “I think he is with Donghae-hyung and Eunhyuk-hyung. Those 2 are having quarrels lately.”
“Can I come inside then, Jungsu-hyung?”
“Why would I say ‘no’?” I replied the boy.
“Are you going to the club then?”
“I will go and look for the boy,” I finally said honestly. “You admit you want to go for the boy?”
Back at the apartment
“So what’s now the present?” I asked when Taemin skipped into the dorm like a kid who got an ice cream.
“You will see,” the younger said and took something from the table.
I smiled at the cuteness of the kid in front of me. My hands unwrapped the paper around the small box and I ripped the box open. In it was a car-key.
“A car?” I sounded surprised and dropped the box onto the ground.
“It’s standing on the parking lot! Come on let’s see it!” he almost yelled. That kid sounded more excited then I was. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me behind him, but he paid attention to my injuries.
Within minutes we stood outside on the parking lot. Shindong & Heechul were smiling mischievous, waiting for us at a car covered under a cloth.
“Ready?” Heechul asked with that big idiot smile on his face.
I only nodded and waited for them to take away the cloth.
“A fucking Audi?” I yelled when they took away the cloth only to reveal a brand new Audi Q7.
“Yeah…we thought you will need it later as you have to drive around to help with the groups for the songs and so on,” Shindong mumbled with a smile on his face. I pulled Taemin closer to me and hugged the 3 of them in one big hug.
“Like next week when you need to go and record some parts for a girl group. You can’t walk all the way in such a state.”
“You’re to concern, Chul.”
“Teuk? Are you going to that club again?”
I looked down at the ground. I don’t know if I want to go back. I am injured like hell and can’t stand properly.
“I don’t know, Taemin. Maybe when I am better again.”
Reception of hospital.
Slowly I was walking out of the hospital. My eyes are hurting from the too bright, white colour that was in the corridors. Taemin had his arm around my waist, trying to support me a bit.
“You shouldn’t do this Taemin.”
“Why not?” he asked, sounding very surprised of my statement.
“Your own friend is just as much pain as me when he walks,” I stated and looked at the other side of Taemin. With every step you saw how Jongin was fighting against the pain. Taemin didn’t know what I meant and turned around to see Jongin making a face of pain.
“Jongie?” he asked and let go of me. I still had Heechul at the other side of me to help.
“He didn’t even saw his own friend was having troubles.”
Okay so Heechul still didn’t know that those 2 are actually lovers. Where is his sense of boyfriend alert? When Donghae was secretly dating Hyukjae he had found that out in exact 3 hours. Now he didn’t found it out for his own brother.
“Yeah…” I mumbled and looked in front of me.
I can walk alone but not for long. That guy really kicked me hard in my stomach. Every step hurts since the muscles aren’t healed yet. I will be able to walk longer in some days…if I rest enough.
“I’m still amazed you stood up from somebody,” Heechul mumbled, more to himself then towards me.
“Why? I stood up for you a lot during high school!” I retorted and he just starts laughing. “I could handle those.”
“Yeah…after I found you crying in that stall one day…”
He stopped in his tracks, making me also stop. Heechul had big eyes and it was scary to see him like that. “I don’t remember that,” he whispered, his eyes wandered to the ground. “I will tell it later again.”
We walked outside with our small group.
“We have a surprise for when we are back at the dorm.”
I looked at Heechul with puppy eyes. Never…ever…say…surprise…to…me. I love surprises! But when I’ve to wait for it…I can’t!
“It’s a surprise, Jungsu!”
I pouted when they didn’t say anything. Not even the smallest hint they give me. I stopped walking and started sulking. I must look like a big baby now. What do you think? A 29 years old guy is standing in the middle of the way, pouting like a kid who doesn’t get the plush bear he wanted.
I heard how Heechul sighed because of my action. Taemin is chuckling some metres away from me. He also uses this technique so he knows it.
“It will transport you better while you are in recovery.”
Heechul looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Thank you!” I squealed like a girl. His eyes widen even more now. “Please! Don’t do that again!”
I take a step on my own but I feel all my muscles cramp. “Ah!”
“See that’s want you get when doing such things,” Heechul mumbled and dragged me towards Taemin.
“Hyung, next time you use ‘bbuing bbuing’,” Taemin said with a big smile. I rolled my eyes at him. “I don’t use that one. Sulking is enough to convince that brother of yours.”
I walked further to the van Heechul is still using. The boy of the club keeps popping up in my mind. His feline eyes. That jawline of his. Maybe his attitude was weird…since well it was all of sudden I pushed and dragged him away. I gave him his belonging back and his face was so beautiful then and-
“Jungsu? When are you going to stop daydreaming?”
“Are you sure you want me to do it?” Sehun asked with a look on his face that he was actually against this idea.
“Yeah, I’m sure!” Key answered, getting slightly irritated from the questions.
“Couldn’t you ask Joonmyun? He is the same age as you…”
“No! You are going to top me. And he wanted that a younger topped me.”
Key pointed at the door, behind it sat the client who waited for the 2 boys to come out. “Okay, then.”
They walked out of the small room, which was located between 2 rooms that the boys use. The guy who ‘ordered’ them smiled when they walked inside.
“Start when you guys are ready. I only want to see you guys.”
“How old are you?” Sehun asked out of the blue.
“21. Yes I know I’m young but I never stay at one place.”
The boys looked at each other and didn’t really know how to start. Sehun takes the lead and pulled the older one closer to his body. “Don’t hate me,” he whispered before he pressed his lips on the older ones.
Immediately they shared a hot and sloppy kiss, only stopping it for catch their breaths. Sehun stripped the elder his shirt and caressed his hands over the chest of his ‘partner’ for that day. He looked down right into the eyes of his roommate. The boy felt himself guilty when he does all this kind of things to him.
He started kissing him again and pushed him back until he felt on the bed. Sehun straddled him immediately, legs on each sides of the elder’s body. Meanwhile he stripped off his own shirt and threw it away. Somewhere the lust was taking him over.
Key started to enjoy it more and more. He kissed him back before and now he is even moaning when the younger placed kisses all over his chest and stomach. The elder even arched his back when Sehun placed a kiss on a sensitive spot on his stomach.
The younger of them started to undo their pants, slowly and pulled them halfway fast off. He hovered Key and kissed his lips again, pushing his tongue into the mouth of the other. With the combination of his hand slipping inside the boxers of the elder, made Key moan really hard. Normally he hates having sex with his customers but…Sehun wasn’t a customer but his friend. He liked it for real. They don’t have ‘love’ for each other but he has to admit Sehun can be damn sexy.
The young kid looked for a moment to the guy that wanted them. His hand was in his pants, touching his cock while taking in the sight. Sehun turned back to the elder and slowly stroked his member, himself getting hard - from the sight- for real the first time after 3 years of working here. He pulled his hand back and unzipped his own jeans and stripped it of.
“What should I do, sir?” Sehun asked and glanced at the male sitting there watching them. “Take him…raw and not facing you,” he moaned and was waiting for the continuation of the scene in front of him. The younger nodded, continuing to strip the older until he is fully naked. He slipped off his own briefs and hovered Key. “Please, don’t hate me for this,” he breathed in his ear while turning the older boy onto his stomach.
The younger took a firm grip of the elder’s sharp hips and slowly thrust in him. He actually never topped before in his life, so this felt amazing. He went all the way in and waited for a moment. He knew that Key is used to this but still be wanted to be sure and don’t hurt him.
Key was used too more then this so he was just waiting for Sehun to start thrusting. But he couldn’t imagine it was youngest of his roommate, who was doing him. All the time he was imagining someone else who was taking him. When the younger started moving he moaned lightly, this time it was real moan and not one of those fake ones he does when an old guy is taking him.
Kisses where placed all over the elder’s spine, slowly getting higher until Sehun was placing them in his neck. The youngest moaned into the ear of Key making him more excited then he was. He almost came but held in, so their ‘maknae’ can have some more fun.
It started to become hotter and hotter for them with every action. The bed they were doing it, was shoving up against the wall with every thrust from Sehun. Key’s moans were turned into some girly, almost slutty ones, whenever the younger hit his prostrate. His hands were turning white from fisting the sheets so damn tight.
Sehun had his head thrown back, hitting his prostrate dead-on. The moans of the elder made him come closer to his release but he wanted to let the older male cum first before he did. Also he waited for an instruction for the customer. He looked and saw how he was jerking himself of by the sight.
“Make him cum,” he demanded, grunting loud when he gave again a hard thug on his cock. Sehun looked back at the sight in front of him. He lowered himself to his ear again. “You heard him. Come so I can do it too,” he whispered and buried his face in the crook of Key’s neck, kissing the skin there. One of his hands went to the front and slowly pumping the elder’s throbbing member.
That was enough for the eldest of them to cum right then. He screamed like a girl when he came. Key’s arms were weak but still he managed to support on them so Sehun could come. And his release was soon after the one of the elder. They both were weak and felt onto the mattress. Or better-said…Key fell on the mattress and Sehun fell on him. The younger pulled out and lay down next to him. They hear a long moan and saw that the guy that watched them also came. From that moment they didn’t follow the moments that were after that. Only when the guy left the room, Key opened an eye.
“Sehun? Will you please leave the room for a second?” he asked the younger, who also opened an eye and mumbled a sort of ‘yes’. When he was finally out of the room, Key rolled on his side and sat up. He grabbed his secret stash underneath the bed. A spoon, a lighter, a syringe a small package of brown powder. He put some of the powder on the spoon, with some water, and warmed it with the lighter above a glass, what was standing there. He filled the syringe and let the gas escape out of it. And strap around his arm made his veins visible. Key took a deep breath and injected the liquid in his veins. From the first moments he didn’t feel anything. That’s the world he loves the most.
Apgujeong-dong; the apartment of the 4 boys.
The boy was touched by the action of that one guy. He was much younger then the most costumers here. He could still feel the firm and strong grip of the guy, but he was gentle at the same time. He has such a cute dimples on his face when he smiled a little.
Normally he wouldn’t fall in love.
Never he wanted to fall in love after he got here in this industry.
But he didn’t know this guy; still it felt like love on the first sight. He was so good for him. Pushing that maniac away and protect him.
Never in his who life here he had seen a guy like that. So gentle but then in the fight he turned into a beast.
“Key? Why are daydreaming?” Sehun spoke up and the boy looked up from his daydream. “Are you okay?” Chanyeol asked, he was leaning against the doorpost and had that smirk on his face.
“Sorry…I was remembering that guy from yesterday.”
“That one who protected you?” Joonmyun asked and looked up from the magazine he was reading. Key nodded to the question. “He was so different…don’t you think guys?”
The 2 others nodded when Joonmyun stated that. “This morning I met a friend of me again, Jongin. He told me a friend of his boyfriend was found knocked out in front of the club…” Chanyeol said.
Maybe he hadn’t had to say that. In some way Key felt bad when he said that.
“That drunk guy walked back in…oh God! That was that guy!” Chanyeol found the clue in his story.
“What happened to him? Where? In which hospital?”
I slowly opened one of my eyes. A bright, white light made me close it again sooner then I would want. Faint sounds made their way into my ears. It were screams of doctors and nurses, making sure that no one would block their way.
Again I tried to open my eyes and grunted because of that irritating bright light. “Jungsu?” a voice sounded next to me. Although my eyes were still blurry, I could recognize Heechul sitting there, his arms and legs crossed. “Yeah?” I could manage to say. Rumbling at the other side of the room gave away that there was somebody else with him.
My sight came back and that second person was, like I could guess, Shindong. He wasn’t smiling like always, his face was serious and nowhere was a sign of fun.
“What happened?” Heechul asked with a voice that was not amused at all. It sounded stern and was filled with concern at the other side. It scared me. What happened? I closed my eyes and tried to remember what I did. The fight of yesterday popped immediately in my head. “I fought,” I said and was shocked by my own voice that sounded so dry and so hoarse.
“Why?” It was Shindong that asked that this time. I opened my eyes again, immediately looking down at my hands. Do I really have to tell them? Maybe it would be better that I tell them about it.
“I saved a young boy from getting assaulted by a drunk man.”
Both opened their eyes so wide it looked like they would pop out of their skulls. It looked funny from my side but still.
“What did you do?” Heechul asked, he sounded very surprised to hear that. “Like I said…I fought with some guy because he was assaulting a boy who was…” I stopped in the middle of that sentence. What was that boy doing there? Just being there or worse… worked there, as a stripper. Why did I do such a thing?
“Well Ju-“ Heechul was cut of by the doctor who walked in.
“Sorry for the waiting and I can see that our friend here has woken up. I can tell you that can go home in a day. We keep you here a bit longer since we are not sure about the condition of your stomach. And also the chance for internal bleeding is high.”
I sat there with a confused look on my face. What did he tell us?
“So Mr Park, you can attend your recordings for next week but no intensive sports or activities for at least a month. You need rest, kid.”
He smiled a bit and leaved the room, Heechul and Shindong bowing when he left. “So what were we ta-“ again Heechul was cut of by a cheer and happy voice. “Jungsu!” Taemin almost ran inside, Jongin trailing behind him like a small dog.
“How can you, Park Jungsu, one of the biggest gentleman in the world, end up in a hospital…beaten up?” he asked with a smile on his face.
“I protected a boy who was there. Some guy was fucking him dryly.”
“It’s a strip club… logic not?” Shindong said and looked at all of us.
I sighed when he said that. I looked up to the ceiling studied it.
“That kid looked like he was not enjoying it. His eyes were blank and emotionless.”
All 4 of them became quiet. The silence was awkward and nobody dared to speak up. Until it was that Jongin guy who opened his mouth.
“Do you know his name, Jungsu-hyung?”
“The name of the boy you saved.”
Why am I so stupid? I totally forgot to ask his name! Now I will never find him again. Okay maybe if I go back to that club…
Jongin looked at me with a small smile.
“I don’t know, Jongin-ah.”
“No problem, hyung. I was wondering. Maybe it was one of my friends.”
“3 of my friends work there…as strippers. They live together with a nagging guy who is there since a very young age.”
Taemin looked shocked towards his boyfriend. “And now you tell me something like that? Your friends are some strippers?” he sounded a bit annoyed with the sudden confession. “Sorry, oppa…but I know them before I met you.”
So…there is a chance one of his friends is that guy or maybe it is that bossy boy that he mentioned.
I can’t really remember what happened during the first punch and the fight outside the building. It’s a bit vague and I can’t get the image clearly for my eyes. I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.
“How do you feel now? Probably great after playing the hero?” Heechul asked with a big smirk on his face.
The smirk slowly faded and was replaced with a small smile. “You are such a good person, Jungsu.”
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